After losing weight, what do I do next?

I gained 30 lbs after my first kid from postpartum depression and medication side effects. It took me three years, but I just lost the last pound. Most of the weight loss came from figuring out WHY I was eating (to meet unmet needs), and then just kicking my dairy addiction. I honestly thought I'd never reach that goal.

The work wasn't over when pound number 30 disappeared. Thirty pounds is kind-of-a-big-deal. And yet, I can still look in the mirror and feel unhappy. Its time to tackle the other reasons that I'm not comfortable in my body, since "fat" isn't rational anymore. What the hell have I been so afraid of for so long? I'm tired of thinking I'm too weak, too ugly, too manly, too old, or too unimportant to take care of Me. I'm tired of telling myself "I'm not" and I can't."

I've learned a few things even after all of this weight loss:

1. "This isn't fat, its FLAB!" Even the larger muscles that used to be easy for me to build are pretty flabby now. I need to exercise! Uggh! My two least favorite words are 'exercise' and 'practice.' I need to find an activity and a goal that don't feel like the E word or the P word.

2. "Zumba isn't exercise!" I've been doing Zumba for the last 9 months. I suck at dancing, but I can go to a Zumba class and pretend that I can dance. The moves don't hurt my joints at all. Just don't tell my brain that I'm doing cardio, I'm enjoying the serotonin from the adrenaline rush! I've gotten the hang of all the steps, but couldn't bring myself to add in the requisite loose tank-top and butt-shaking.
I need to get over myself and deal with all of the reasons I don't feel feminine enough to dance the ways that women all over the world have been dancing for centuries. - Its not exercise; its an organic antidepressant prescription and butt-shaking group therapy!

3. "I (used to) <3 Pilates." Its pretty easy for me to lift weights, but it doesn't take long for me to bulk up like a man! The toughest muscles for me to build have always been the smaller support muscles, but my knees, ankles and wrists stop hurting when the small muscles are developed enough to support my frame. Pilates tones all those shapely, feminine muscles. Its not like I'm already dead; my frame still needs that support, and I should still like Pilates...  I haven't done a Pilates class since 2003 at Cal Poly. I started Pilates back up this week; it has been 10 years, yay me! - I (have always and will always) <3 Pilates!

4. "I should have listened to my brother 10 years ago." He's been a personal trainer, and a yoga instructor. I finally went to a yoga class. I'm not "old," I've just neglected my flexibility! The instructor who just told me to burn my abs for 40 minutes is now instructing me to lie down and close my eyes for the last 10 minutes; well, she's the boss! The nap is actually restful since someone ELSE is watching the kids at the gym daycare. -Go the gym for a group nap.  What a perfect way to make sure I take care of ME. W00t!


I smell a new goal in there somewhere! Time to identify that goal and plan out how to get there.